Jack the Giant Slayer ** (PG-13) Here’s yet another fairy tale stretched into a somewhat more adult action-adventure flick following what Hollywood has done lately to Little Red Riding Hood, Snow White, Hansel & Gretel, and perhaps a couple of others. These stem from a couple of irresistible temptations - the ease of creating fanciful worlds and creatures with today’s computer graphics, and the perceived box-office advantage of offering something based on the familiar. The latter also explains the proliferation of sequels in horror, action, sci-fi, animation and comedies. The former unfortunately has led to spending too much of the budget on the sizzle, at the expense of the steak...meaning the script.
So we get a rather tedious tale of intrepid Jack (Nicholas Hoult, who looks like Richard Thomas’ John Boy in the early years of The Waltons) and a spunky princess (Eleanor Tomlinson, who looks like every post-feminist, not-just-pretty-but-smart-and-brave heiress to a mythical throne) climbing that beanstalk to encounter a whole ragtag army of nasty giants who ravaged the earthlings below many generations ago, who’ve been seething about their prison-in-the-sky existence ever since. Don’t even try to make sense of the premise. The producers didn’t.
Admittedly, the f/x make for some exciting moments, including a spectacular climactic battle. If you’re curious enough to attend, look for the biggest 3-D screen within range, because you’ll likely need to maximize the visual adrenalin stimuli to stay engaged.
Find out what's happening in Clayton-Richmond Heightswith free, real-time updates from Patch.
If these revisionist sagas continue to be profitable, how long will it be before Mother Hubbard’s poor doggie goes all Cujo for want a bone, or Little Miss Muffet replaces John Goodman’s hilarious exterminator in a retooled remake of Arachnophobia? (3/1/13)