Expectant Parents to Callers: Yes, No Baby Yet

My wife and I have established a fun nightly routine in lieu of our baby's arrival. He is due to arrive Monday, but we're not holding our breath. It could be earlier. It could be later.

But back to our schedule: First, we eat dinner. Then we stare at each other. Then we go to bed.

As an added bonus, we (meaning Julie) field calls at all hours of the day and night from people asking for status updates.

Below, please find an example conversation for your reading pleasure:

Caller: Hi Julie! It's (fill in person of your choice). How are you? Anything yet?

Julie: I'm fine, thank you. Uncomfortable but fine. The baby isn't here. No.

Caller: So the baby hasn't come yet, huh?

Julie: Nope. No baby. Not yet.

Caller: Well, tell that baby to get a move on. Today would be a great day. Or if you wait until June (fill in the date), that was the (fill in the birthday/anniversary/christening/bar mitzvah) of (fill in favorite person of choice).

Julie: Believe me, if I could control the situation, the baby would have been here a long time ago.

Caller: Well, keep me posted.

Julie: OK. You'll be the first to know. Or among the first. At any rate, you'll get an invitation to his first birthday party.

Caller: I mean it. Don't hesitate to call me.

Julie: Of course.

These discussions aren't limited to telephones, of course. They happen in casual conversations with people we encounter regularly.

We're thrilled with all of the kindness we've been shown. We just wish we had more to report.

Until then, suffice it to say that the little guy isn't here yet.

In the interim, .

Pretty cute.