Love Notes: Paul and Betty Hayes Stayed Together with Work, Vacations

In honor of Valentine's Day on Tuesday, Clayton-Richmond Heights Patch teamed up with Maplewood-Brentwood Patch to ask three committed couples about their lives together and what it takes to maintain a relationship.

We visited -based , home to approximately 80 senior residents.

Here is some of what they told us.

Paul and Betty Hayes
Age: 88
Years married: 67
Anniversary: March 22, 1945
Formerly of: Dogtown

Paul and Betty Hayes met in their mid-teens while attending Shelbina High School in northeast Missouri.

For Paul, it was love at first sight.

"'That's her, I'm going to marry her,'" Betty recalls him saying. They were reintroduced at a dinner party.

Paul went to college in Quincy, IL, while Betty attended college at Kirksville, MO.

Then World War II began. Paul entered the U.S. Army. Betty dropped out of school and went to visit him.

"He was more important than college at that time," said Betty, though she said she regrets not completing her degree.

But the visit didn't go unnoticed.

"I came back with a ring," Betty said.

(Also on Patch: Love Notes: Former Clayton Attorney and Spouse Share Relationship Keys)

Paul served from 1942-45 during World War II. He flew in a B-24 bomber and worked as a radio operator. He communicated with ground control during takeoff and provided weather forecasts, among other duties.

Meanwhile, Betty worked as a teacher. She rode a horse to school every day.

A wedding and life together
After completing his service, the couple married. It was a simple wedding. Betty wore a fancy dress, and Paul wore his uniform. Afterward, they went to town and had milkshakes—something Paul missed while in the service.

They honeymooned in St. Louis, where Paul had a brother. They stayed at The Coronado Hotel.

They spent time traveling to California, Texas and other places afterward. Upon returning to Shelbina, Paul ran his family's funeral home. The couple lived in an upstairs apartment.

They have four children. Jim lives in Portland, OR, where he works on motors and sells automotive parts. Dan lives in Des Moines, IA, and worked with the Boy Scouts of America for around 40 years before retiring. Rebecca Lorenz lives in Dogtown and holds a doctorate of nursing philosophy. Mark lives in Virginia, where he works as a lawyer in Washington, D.C.

They also have four grandchildren and two great-grandsons.

Keys to a lasting relationship
Paul and Betty said staying busy is one of the things that kept them together over they years. They ran a business. They had their children.

But they also took time for vacations, and their kids came with them. They got away and had a good time together visiting places such as Washington, D.C., and Texas.

Marriage is a job. Both have to work at it. The husband has to do things that the wife likes, and the other way around, Betty said.

Partners must also be willing to give up some things they really want to do, she said. If one's spouse travels a lot, the other won't be happy. And it's important to like the spouse's job.

For Valentine's Day, they'll likely go out to dinner as usual. In the past, they've given boxes of candy, though not necessarily on the holiday. They enjoyed eating out and going to the movies.

Paul's comments are more succinct.

"I survived," he said, laughing.

Betty is the only person he ever dated, he said.